Hey, Boss Man. Do I look different today? Well, maybe a little bit, huh? Are you speechless? This is a lot, I’m sure… Maybe you’re wondering if you’re dreaming! I just wanted to please you. You’re my boss and I want to show my dedication. And that means making sure you’re happy.

I know your interests. Secretaries are meant to please their bosses, right? And honestly, men pick secretaries based on curb appeal. Like, when a client walks in, we need them to be happy to see me. What you like matters in that, and I know what you’re into. Obviously, as I get to dabble in your computer history sometimes. As a good secretary does, of course! And I don’t want you to think less of my abilities.

I’m still very capable. I may still be getting used to this, but it’s not that bad really. This eye is my strongest asset! I can see everything, though I’m a bit disoriented. I’m getting better. And my missing arm… You like this, too? Of course…

I can type like crazy with just one hand. I was practicing before I even had it taken off. Honestly, this is for the best. You’re so pleased, aren’t you? When I saw your search history, I pondered… Will he keep me around if someone comes around looking like that? I want to always be appealing to you. And this was a big decision, but honestly…

I’d do anything for you.

I do think this is really sexy. What do you think, Boss? I’m feeling sexier by the minute. Getting a manicure and tapping my fingers on the desk… Just my five fingers… And looking at you through your door… Just this one eye, the sexiest eye. I’ve only made everything that much more enhanced. I’ll be better than any secretary you could ever ask for now!

When someone loses limbs or eyes, they just strengthen what’s left. And it’s true! I feel better at my job already. You’ll see when you get to your desk. I’ve continued all my work at rapid speed. You’re so lucky to have me. And I’m so lucky to have you.