I’ve been away for a few months on an international business trip, leaving my dear sweet wife Roxy home all by herself. To make a bit of extra cash, we talked about renting out our spare room to a lodger. You said there was a sweet older woman who was interested. Anyway, I come home after a few months to quite the shock: you with a round pregnant belly. And you tell me that you were lying about the older woman. Turns out that you had rented the room to Simon, a dark and handsome immigrant from the Ivory Coast you had met while shopping one day. And it turns out Simon left quite the security deposit with you, as you got knocked up within a week of him moving in. You were racked with guilt for months while you tried to figure out how to explain yourself to me, but over time you realized that you didn’t have to explain or justify yourself at all. You were a wanting, fertile woman who was alone in the same house with a handsome black man, and you gave in to your deepest desires. And now you will always have a keepsake of that time, and I will have a constant reminder never to go on another long business trip and leave you alone. **Contains a name mentioned a few times*