It the weekend! I bet your loser ass thought you were going to the bar to wash your sorrows down. What a cliche. How mind-numbingly stupid, considering a DUI would ruin your already fucked up life. It makes more sense to stay home and get messed up with me instead. I'm hotter than any girl you'll see at the bar anyways. I'm hotter than any police officer that may pull you over tonight. OF COURSE it makes perfect sense to cancel your plans and spend the night stroking to me. I bet you even have a couple bottles I can ram down your throat. You do love it sooo much when I get you loopy for me, brain all mushed and motor skills abolished. Get weaker and weaker for me while I laugh at how pathetic you are. Happy Friday!